Post by Drew on Nov 9, 2011 1:27:28 GMT -5
FINAL FUCKING FOUR CLUB
DAY 37
Hello my loyal followers. Now, I had this big long confessional typed up and ready to go but I think I am just going to scrap it. Because honestly, it was me just being over dramatic and caring too dam much about people’s feelings and how they might view me. Well after the last couple of days I have had in this game, everybody and their mom’s opinions can EAT SHIT.
I’m sick and tired of trying to justify myself in this game.
It’s a funny thing about these games – and I kinda forgot about it while I was in hiatus – about the thin line between friendship and game play. I mean think about it - you are put into a game where you have to get to know these people, and take weeks to build a relationship with them to where you are basically friends in real life - then the game forces you to kick their ass to the curb. So after all that time you spend with that person, it only takes one second to throw that all away. And that’s part of the game we sign up for.
So back to my LONG confessional that I am not submitting – it was summed up like this. How either I am legitimately fucked either way I chose in terms of voting off Ryan or Brian.
If I evict Brian – then all of Kalsoy will assume that they were right about me – that all I have done this entire game was lick Ryan’s asshole and not think for myself. (No matter what went behind the scenes because the game “went like a script”). Brittany and I will just be viewed as the sheep that followed their master to the slaughter.
If I evict Ryan – then I am a two-timer and that I betrayed my best friend to win the game. I gave my word to Ryan at the very beginning of this game that I would fight so I and he would get to the end. But if I choose trying to win the game over a friend – I’ll be seen as a cold hearted manipulator in which my word means less than the shit on the ground.
So either way it’s looking good for Drew folks – either I am a mindless sheep or a manipulative bastard.
So, as you can see, that was my dilemma.
But after a petty argument with Ryan after Jared was voted off, the dreaded fight thread and hearing Brian blab just to blab about how important it is to take Ryan out – I have had it up to HERE.
I guess my give-a-fuck-o-meter is broken.
I had to remind myself of why I decided to re-enter the ORG world and apply for this series. I came into this game with one ultimate goal, and that was to make it to the end of this game with my own hands and to prove myself that I still have the fight in me to do so. At the finale, if the jury finds me worthy of the title of sole iSurv1vor, then great. If they don’t like my style of game play, then I won’t lose sleep. If I was on the jury, I would vote as I dam well pleased, just like they can. As long as I know that I did what I came out to do and prove to myself that I could do this again – then I will leave with a smile on my face.
So in terms of the upcoming vote, I am going to vote on how I see fit. It’s my vote and no one else’s.
My take on Ryan and I’s “argument” and the final immunity challenge coming soon…
