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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 15:32:01 GMT -5
Well both tribes submitted your roasts and the scoring has been tallied. Four Alumni took part as well as one person who has no affiliation to any cast member, identities to follow.
Immunity is on the line and let's not forget about the Loki Scroll.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 15:34:05 GMT -5
SKORIN ROAST ROAST OF KALSOY Kalsoy takes their seats, hosts Sandy Probst and Rob Tucker pour them dranks, cuz they're gonna fucking need it. Skorin arrives to give them a warm welcome. Let's get to the Roasts:
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 15:36:04 GMT -5
KALSOY ROAST Poor poor Dantz. Our token slave of the game. I personally think it's adorable that he sings a slave song after each of the treemails. I'm just waiting to hear "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot." Although I do feel kind of bad for him considering Skorin made sure both black people on the tribe were picked last on the tribe selection... if having to sit in the back of the bus wasn't already a struggle he goes through on a daily basis. BUUUUUUT, I can kind of understand why they did pick him last, he's kind of hard to find....  I'm a huge fan of the 80's...I love the music, the movies, the Brat pack. Does anyone remember the cabbage patch doll phase. I remember standing in line for hours and we happened to get a very special cabbage patch doll that now looks very familiar to me...  Britti, is her name, and bad hair her game. Girl, you need to do something with that hair, Unless you're like waiting for it to come back in style. Then again I suppose this makes it easier for Ryan to kiss your cabbage patch ass rather than flesh.  Ohhhhh, Jared "Jay-ilbird" Merrell. It's no suprise you come flocking to online games like these filled with little children. Perhaps could it be because you're not allowed 1000 feet from them in person? Oh, and nice stache, creeper. So a homeless man, a boy with down syndrome and Beaker from The Muppets walk into a bar. I know what you're thinking... sounds like the typical joke how everyone starts. But mine is pretty much to the point, so bare with me. They basically have a not made for TV orgy and create this should've been aborted love child that goes by the name of Drew. Sometimes the ugliest of people can come together and create a beautiful person...then there's Drew.  Some peoples biggest struggles to get far in the game is doing challenges and making alliances with the right people. Here's Ryan's: Takes balls Ryan... and stroking... and cupping... well, you should know this by now.  Who do you get if you take Kelman's glasses off?  It seems like you are the "Shaggy" of the tribe. You are afraid of everything! When Skorin is in the jungle Britti says "Let's split up!" Searching for the clues and food Kelman "Shaggy" is left alone with Tony and they start to shake, they wimp out. They can't do anything for themselves. Kelman eats 70% of the food on Skorin. His performance in the challenges is awesome! He is sitting at the bench and snores wile his tribe is struggling to win the immunity! Shaggy and Scooby = Kelman and Tony. Neither one can say or do anything even after they've eaten everything in site.  Skorin...  |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 15:38:43 GMT -5
JUDGE #1 - an iS Winner SkorinStarting with the Willow spoof..I thought that was terrible. It had NOTHING roast worthy in there..all I can say is thank lord they decided to throw a bunch of shit together and not decide to use that alone. It wasn't funny, clever, or mean. Jay's video is hilarious..but for all the wrong reasons. I find myself laughing at him, and not at the things he is saying or doing. I really hope the last two pick it up parts improve.. Tony..hmm..I happened to chuckle a time or two, and caught myself smiling..much better then the previous two. Wish it had to be longer, then Skorin would start looking better.. Ryan's vid was funny! I like the that he nastied it up a notch. When I think of a Roast I think of something like this...I LOVED the Hellen Keller joke hahaha. KalsoyI think Sherri is funny  I laughed at the roast on Dantz & Britti. And then I see Jays which made me laugh because its all any of us seems to be able to talk about.. Then we get to Brian.. Drew was the only one worth reading but even that didn't make me laugh much.. Its going to be close for me.. We have Ryan/Tony on Skorin who did Good..then we have Jay/Drew which was kind of a wtf moment.. Over on Kalsoy we have Sherri who I found funny, then Brian who was as lackluster as ever. One had videos, One has pictures they just fucked around with... I didn't think either was Great, but here is my scores.. SKORIN -  KALSOY - I wanted more dirt, filth and nastiness from both but....... I got a little more out of Skorin, not to mention, they clearly put way more time and effort into the challenge. Cheers!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 15:58:52 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 16:00:50 GMT -5
JUDGE #3 - Unfortunately, he was in Canada SkorinVideo 1: Was that even a roast? FAIL. The only insult I got out of it was Kalsoy sucks? Ohh okay. That all you got?  PS. How old and played out is that song? Really. Video 2: Okay this was just pathetic. I've never contemplated suicide until I watched this idiot's failed attempt at humor. Changing his voice to imitate members of Kalsoy was laughable but not in the way he thought it would come off. He did get one thing right though. The "infamous" Jared Merrell is known by alumni, alright... For being a complete joke! Video 3: Tony's was actually a roast and it made me laugh. The Sheri line was pretty awesome, honestly. lol Although, he did repeat the same "dumb" joke about a few of the people on Kalsoy. All in all, it was good. Not great but most definitely better than the first 2 videos. Not hard to top those though. Video 4: I was expecting more creativity out of Ryan. Kinda disappointed. If all his jokes were for Sebastian, he should've just said those instead since they probably would've been funny. Nothing more to really say about this one. Grade scale: 4/10 and that's me being generous. If they happen to win, they should really thank Tony since he's the only one that was actually entertaining. I don't think videos really take that much more effort. You turn on the camera and start talking. Either you're naturally funny or you're not... and most of Skorin is not. KalsoyRoast 1: Sheri hit Skorin in all the right spots. The picture of Dantz was hilarious and it reminded me of Boo Radley for some reason.  Cabbage patch Britti! lmao Loved it. Did Sheri really go on Megan's Law to find that profile of Jared?  Roast 2: K I pretty much died laughing at those comparisons to Drew because I agree with them Ryan jerked off Sandy to make the cast? Meh. it was kinda funny but Brian's ability to actually sell most of his jokes fell flat. I fucking LOVE scooby doo and comparing Shaggy and Scooby to Kelman and Tony is more of an insult to Shag and Scoob, imo.  Grade scale: 6/10 Only because I actually laughed more during Kalsoy's. It was supposed to be a roast and they had more punchlines than Skorin did.
Compared to the roasts in HvV, this was definitely lackluster. I'm disappointed. Also, wtf at nobody else sending anything in? As I recall, with the exception of RB and Bud from the villains, everyone else turned something in. Correct me if I'm wrong though. But yeah... I was expecting more and both tribes failed. SKORIN - KALSOY -
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 16:03:06 GMT -5
JUDGE #4 - A Peru Hero Totally underwhelmed by both SKORIN - 1/10 Only the 3rd video was even close to funny (and never really got there). Production value was horrible and no cohesiveness whatsoever. It didn't get a 0 because I chuckled exactly twice, but I took a point off because Jared called his roast 'infamous' and it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. -1 for false hubris. Brutal. KALSOY - 2/10 It was funnier, but only by a little. They get the extra point because they didn't try as hard, thus they didn't fail as spectacularly as Skorin did. SKORIN - KALSOY -
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 16:05:03 GMT -5
Current Standings
SKORIN - 2
KALSOY - 2
It rests on JUDGE #5, a person who has no links to any of the players. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 16:07:57 GMT -5
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Post by Jared - Voted Out 14th on Oct 12, 2011 16:08:07 GMT -5
Wow keep up on the hating me streak, why don't you....
Am I that hated in these boards....
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2011 16:11:52 GMT -5
SKORIN WINS IMMUNITY!
Congratulations Skorin a 3-2 win and Immunity goes back to you guys. Loki Scroll decision ASAP please, you know the drill.
Kalsoy you guys will have to trek to Tribal Council once again.
Head Out. |
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Post by Kelman - Voted Out 11th on Oct 12, 2011 16:21:32 GMT -5
Well done yellow team. Now, I'd hate for Sheri to think I'm a lazy bum, so I'll sprint around the island and hand her the Loki Scroll You're welcome  |
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Post by Sister Shocantelle Brown on Oct 12, 2011 17:45:53 GMT -5
Kalsoy is that what you wanted |
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Post by Brian -Unjustly Voted Out 15th on Oct 12, 2011 18:24:38 GMT -5
Bless you and your soulful slave voice.
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PS. How old and played out is that song? Really. 
Cabbage patch Britti! lmao Loved it. Did Sheri really go on Megan's Law to find that profile of Jared? 
