Alright guys so I kinda took liberty to put the pieces together and put it all into one simple entry. I kinda balanced it out by seperating the videos and other similar entries. Hope ya'll like it.Hey there! Thanks for coming to the Kalsoy roast. Hopefully you'll find this funny and "Faroe" your hands in the air with delight. The jokes aren't all as bad as that one, I promise.
First up is Jared with a nice rap.
Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo
This is a roast, that were partying on a mother fucking boat
Paying the life of time going crazy till the days you fail to survive
All right, we are the SKORIN's that know how to score!
Were taking this battle back by destroying your whores
This is the mad man
Standing back
Throwing emotions on our standing tracks
Devouring the pain that is Kalsoy is feeling cracked
I don't understand these bitches where Kalsoy has given up on there last stand
Whether they like to whip their hair back and forth
Being smaller than a price on a tribe dealing with the negotiations on the place that its worth.
Sending the poles to the grave where everything is on hold to go.
Now that were standing here being the champions as we are, we are going to raise this shit and win this bitch!
Jared's on such a roll, he even put together a hilarious video! A mockery of the most pathetic tribe since the Mayans.
Thanks Jared! Up next is Kelman with a nice, traditional verbal roasting.
<Kelman walks on stage 20 minutes after scheduled time>
Hey guys, I finally showed up for this challenge. Wasn't sure if Kalsoy was going to, they haven't for the first 4 rounds anyways. You know, trying to figure out stuff to bash these guys on was pretty difficult because you never hear any of them talk. I'm starting to think the other tribe is just a figment of our collective imaginations. Like Inception, only crappier and more likely to make me puke.
This may be just me, but I think some Kalsoyians are thinking this game is the first day of school, but you show up at the bell with a HORRIBLE hair cut. These guys don'y even know how to react, it's so shameful. How can they be on national television looking like this...
I'd be shocked too if my hair looked like that. There's always an alternative. Just cover it up...
Well isn't he a tough guy, eh? You see, Kalsoy just isn't ready for primetime. They are like the midday talk show, trying to make it big. We all know Sheri just can't wait to share her opinion
In other news, it looks like Gibson neglected to tell the cast he's the son of Mel. To be truthful, I don't blame him. I don't think it would negatively impact his chances of winning, but who would want to admit they are related to an anti-semetic alcoholic. Someone make sure he doesn't touch the bubbly in pre-jury.
Little-known fact: I was in the delivery room when Sharonica was born. Her mother gave birth, and when asked to name the baby, she went to say Sharon but then sneezed before she could finish. Thus, Sharonica was born. After hearing of this horrid occurence, Congress came out with a new Law banning mothers from sneezing after giving birth. Best law EVERRRRRRRR!!!!!
Yea, I think i touched on everyone important.
Oh wait, theres someone named Brian on that team?.....
Meh, who cares. Goodnight folks!
Well I gotta say, that combination of devilish good looks and witty humor has definitely sold me! If only he had as awesome hair as the ladies in this next video, featuring Tony and Britti...
Now I know you think by now we are just THAT awesome, but to convince you even more why Kalsoy is the biggest fucking joke in the world, Britti has arranged a sweet, innocent poem for roasting. And by sweet and innocent, I really mean cruel and reckless. Enjoy!
We see you on the island
but Skorin is on the highland
Kalsoy always losing
their egos are a bruisin
Brian is always around
to watch skorin crowned
he tries and cries
with fear in his eyes
Sheri is fairly quiet
we don't really buy it
tries to call out skorin
but we're to busy scorin
Totte is a funny name
are they even in the game?
he seems okay
but he's not here to stay
Joel is unseen
especially unclean
he tried to help
but he let out a yelp
Sharonica is original Skorin
over here she was soarin
now she's falling
and kalsoy's stalling
Gibson seems to hide
and we let it slide
now he's on his toes
and hopefully kalsoy knows
Skorin's on top
kalsoys our mop
clean up our mess
cause we're the best
Finally, to wrap up the show is the guy who puts the bitch in this bitchin' roast, Ryan.
Well as you clearly see, Kalsoy was just TOO fun to make fun of that we could only come up with 15 minutes of material. Maybe if the tribe had some personality it would've been easier. Thanks for watching, and stay tuned for the Roast of Charlie Sheen Part 2: The Hookers, when real-life prostitutes actually set Sheen's body on fire.